Monday, January 26, 2009
20 week ultrasound...
It looks like a boy. (Not because anyone with training or authority told me so, but it looks like one to me. ...and Brenden and I are convinced the tech made a "gender" slip by saying (maybe) "and that's his such and such...)
I'll deal.
This ultrasound was amazing!! I'd be like (in my head) 'Ohhhh...look at it's cute feet!' And the tech would be like (out loud): ..."and that's the kidneys."
Or what I thought was the skull still had changed to it's lips and nose...which, by the way, look perfect. ...skull-like, but perfect!!
I'll deal.
This ultrasound was amazing!! I'd be like (in my head) 'Ohhhh...look at it's cute feet!' And the tech would be like (out loud): ..."and that's the kidneys."
Or what I thought was the skull still had changed to it's lips and nose...which, by the way, look perfect. ...skull-like, but perfect!!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Preggers Brain
So they (the 13 or so books I've invested in) say that some women get "pregnancy brain"...making you forgetful or absent-minded, mixing up words and generally just fuzzy in your thinking. I thought I'd prolly be extra-sharp, personally, what with the surge of sooper-lady hormones and everything.
...but lately, I've found I've been mixing up words when I speak...like I'll say "bizarre" when I mean to say "bizerk" (which I believe is a word, right??) ...so the other day I'm bartending and this weirdo guy that everyone hates serving comes in (now, this guy is "different" and wears these big earphones and says wierdo bizzare random creepy things) ...so he sits down at the bar and I reluctantly ask what he wants to drink, and bring him his tea (see: I told you he's a weirdo) and I go to ask him what I normally would ask next, which is: "Would you like to see a menu??" but instead I say: "Would you like to see a movie??"
...so I accidentally ask him out. If it was anyone else, I could've recovered by saying: "Woops, I didn't actually mean to ask you out, I meant to ask if you'd like to order some food from this restaurant.."(smiling charmingly, all pregnant and adorable)...but this guys is so wierd and creepy that when he responds "What??!!" I say: "Ummmm...wouldyouliketoseeamenu??" and then I promptly run away and pretend to do something important to the stereo.
Hopefully I don't "accidentally" ask out a handsome stranger. Oh. Wait. I work at The Madhouse: "Handsome Strangers" are usually pushing 50, on thier 2nd divorce and drunk on too much Crystal. (Or wearing helmets or big earphones)...I should be fine.
Unless, of course, we serve the Peanut Soup while I have Preggers Brain; I have trouble saying that correctly when I'm not pregnant...
...but lately, I've found I've been mixing up words when I speak...like I'll say "bizarre" when I mean to say "bizerk" (which I believe is a word, right??) ...so the other day I'm bartending and this weirdo guy that everyone hates serving comes in (now, this guy is "different" and wears these big earphones and says wierdo bizzare random creepy things) ...so he sits down at the bar and I reluctantly ask what he wants to drink, and bring him his tea (see: I told you he's a weirdo) and I go to ask him what I normally would ask next, which is: "Would you like to see a menu??" but instead I say: "Would you like to see a movie??"
...so I accidentally ask him out. If it was anyone else, I could've recovered by saying: "Woops, I didn't actually mean to ask you out, I meant to ask if you'd like to order some food from this restaurant.."(smiling charmingly, all pregnant and adorable)...but this guys is so wierd and creepy that when he responds "What??!!" I say: "Ummmm...wouldyouliketoseeamenu??" and then I promptly run away and pretend to do something important to the stereo.
Hopefully I don't "accidentally" ask out a handsome stranger. Oh. Wait. I work at The Madhouse: "Handsome Strangers" are usually pushing 50, on thier 2nd divorce and drunk on too much Crystal. (Or wearing helmets or big earphones)...I should be fine.
Unless, of course, we serve the Peanut Soup while I have Preggers Brain; I have trouble saying that correctly when I'm not pregnant...
Saturday, January 10, 2009
"WHEN'S your due date??!!"
This happens to me several times a day:
I see a semi-stranger/family member/good friend/co-worker/Madhouse regular staring at my belly in my shirt (that I put on to cleverly disguise it's unnaturally large size)...then they ask one of 2 questions:
"How far along are you??" or "When is your due-date??" and I answer, knowing what is next coming out of thier mouth: "4 1/2 Months??!! (or; JUNE??!!)...you're going to be HUGE!!! (Or: Are you sure you're not having twins??!!)...you're already SO big!!!!!!"
It's acceptable from close friends & family, but this is not the type of honesty I prefer from strangers or Madhouse regulars. The only comments that I should hear from them is about how cute/glowing/radiant/adorable I look pregnant. Warning: people are very honest to pregnant people when they should obvioulsy be protected from the chubby truth.
Oh, and one more thing: I recently read an article in In Touch Weekly (an obviously reliable source of information...) about a 7 foot woman in India who gave birth to a 22 lb baby.
...Brenden's 6'8"...4 inches shorter...
I see a semi-stranger/family member/good friend/co-worker/Madhouse regular staring at my belly in my shirt (that I put on to cleverly disguise it's unnaturally large size)...then they ask one of 2 questions:
"How far along are you??" or "When is your due-date??" and I answer, knowing what is next coming out of thier mouth: "4 1/2 Months??!! (or; JUNE??!!)...you're going to be HUGE!!! (Or: Are you sure you're not having twins??!!)...you're already SO big!!!!!!"
It's acceptable from close friends & family, but this is not the type of honesty I prefer from strangers or Madhouse regulars. The only comments that I should hear from them is about how cute/glowing/radiant/adorable I look pregnant. Warning: people are very honest to pregnant people when they should obvioulsy be protected from the chubby truth.
Oh, and one more thing: I recently read an article in In Touch Weekly (an obviously reliable source of information...) about a 7 foot woman in India who gave birth to a 22 lb baby.
...Brenden's 6'8"...4 inches shorter...
Pregnancy Hormones can cause "Vivid, Disturbing Dreams"...
It says in my 13-or-some-odd pregnancy books that the surging hormones can cause some crazy dreams. The books say that your worries about being a parent might combine with the hormones and you might have terrifying dreams about your baby...
I, on the other hand, have had some very disturbing dreams about inflicting violence on my husband. ...I'm really not sure what this means.
Dream # 1: Brenden tells me that he is going to have a big party at my parents house, during which he is planning to make my Dad be his "butler" who will have to serve drinks to all his friends...I get so angry and enraged that he is planning to do this, that I push him down on the ground and scratch "I am a fucking asshole" on his chest with a nearby stick. (I know, what the hell?)
Dream #2: I catch Brenden doing heroin and he's all like, "yeah, well too bad: you can't stop me!". I trip him and kick him in the balls repeatedly because I am so mad.
Dream #3: Brenden admits that he hasn't actually got a job, that he's just been venturing into the forest each day 5am-6pm to smoke pot with his female "dealer" who's also his best friend, and again, too bad for me...this time I grab our J. A Henckels kitchen knife and slash him on each arm just below the shoulders (not stab, just slash, like Zorro would...)
...Soooo...I'm not sure why I am so subconsciously furious at my husband, clearly manifesting in my dreams, but in everyday "real" life I feel no real rage at him (well, other than the "God! Unless you're colour-blind, which you're not, why can't you see the little green light on the dishwasher that is indicating the dishes inside it are clean and ready to be put away?"-type of usual rage)...
I've told him about my angry acts towards him during sleep (due of course, to pregnancy hormones) and he doesn't seem that concerned...but I see our J. A. Henckels kitchen knives have mysteriously disapeared from their usual spot...
Oh. Wait. They're probably in the dishwasher.
I, on the other hand, have had some very disturbing dreams about inflicting violence on my husband. ...I'm really not sure what this means.
Dream # 1: Brenden tells me that he is going to have a big party at my parents house, during which he is planning to make my Dad be his "butler" who will have to serve drinks to all his friends...I get so angry and enraged that he is planning to do this, that I push him down on the ground and scratch "I am a fucking asshole" on his chest with a nearby stick. (I know, what the hell?)
Dream #2: I catch Brenden doing heroin and he's all like, "yeah, well too bad: you can't stop me!". I trip him and kick him in the balls repeatedly because I am so mad.
Dream #3: Brenden admits that he hasn't actually got a job, that he's just been venturing into the forest each day 5am-6pm to smoke pot with his female "dealer" who's also his best friend, and again, too bad for me...this time I grab our J. A Henckels kitchen knife and slash him on each arm just below the shoulders (not stab, just slash, like Zorro would...)
...Soooo...I'm not sure why I am so subconsciously furious at my husband, clearly manifesting in my dreams, but in everyday "real" life I feel no real rage at him (well, other than the "God! Unless you're colour-blind, which you're not, why can't you see the little green light on the dishwasher that is indicating the dishes inside it are clean and ready to be put away?"-type of usual rage)...
I've told him about my angry acts towards him during sleep (due of course, to pregnancy hormones) and he doesn't seem that concerned...but I see our J. A. Henckels kitchen knives have mysteriously disapeared from their usual spot...
Oh. Wait. They're probably in the dishwasher.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
A comment on Brenden's "idea" for a middle name
Brenden thinks it's halarious to say we are using "danger" as a middle name...today while I was searching online for a shirt to wear to work that says "does this baby make me look fat?" (so that people stop saying things such as "You're pregnant? Oh...I just thought you were getting really chubby") - I found this shirt (see pic)...and underneath in the description it said "for all those pregnant ladies who's BD think that they are the first to think of this (they're not)."
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Bad Blogger
Ok, I swear I'll have new exciting stories and pix to post soon!! Someone tell my husband to get me internet at home so I can post them!!
Latest: Out to the world, 20 week ultrasound at the end of Jan...lots of creepy looking pics to show you!! Belly is getting unnaturally HUGE! (Lots of time because real baby is sitting on top of a food baby?? Feeling hunger-like gas bubbles which is apparently our "Bumpkin" moving, but none that I can be sure isn't just gas...pics and funny stories soon!!!
Latest: Out to the world, 20 week ultrasound at the end of Jan...lots of creepy looking pics to show you!! Belly is getting unnaturally HUGE! (Lots of time because real baby is sitting on top of a food baby?? Feeling hunger-like gas bubbles which is apparently our "Bumpkin" moving, but none that I can be sure isn't just gas...pics and funny stories soon!!!
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