Thursday, January 15, 2009

Preggers Brain

So they (the 13 or so books I've invested in) say that some women get "pregnancy brain"...making you forgetful or absent-minded, mixing up words and generally just fuzzy in your thinking. I thought I'd prolly be extra-sharp, personally, what with the surge of sooper-lady hormones and everything.

...but lately, I've found I've been mixing up words when I speak...like I'll say "bizarre" when I mean to say "bizerk" (which I believe is a word, right??) ...so the other day I'm bartending and this weirdo guy that everyone hates serving comes in (now, this guy is "different" and wears these big earphones and says wierdo bizzare random creepy things) ...so he sits down at the bar and I reluctantly ask what he wants to drink, and bring him his tea (see: I told you he's a weirdo) and I go to ask him what I normally would ask next, which is: "Would you like to see a menu??" but instead I say: "Would you like to see a movie??"

...so I accidentally ask him out. If it was anyone else, I could've recovered by saying: "Woops, I didn't actually mean to ask you out, I meant to ask if you'd like to order some food from this restaurant.."(smiling charmingly, all pregnant and adorable)...but this guys is so wierd and creepy that when he responds "What??!!" I say: "Ummmm...wouldyouliketoseeamenu??" and then I promptly run away and pretend to do something important to the stereo.

Hopefully I don't "accidentally" ask out a handsome stranger. Oh. Wait. I work at The Madhouse: "Handsome Strangers" are usually pushing 50, on thier 2nd divorce and drunk on too much Crystal. (Or wearing helmets or big earphones)...I should be fine.

Unless, of course, we serve the Peanut Soup while I have Preggers Brain; I have trouble saying that correctly when I'm not pregnant...

2 comments:

Jana said...

Hahahahahahahaha...that's the funniest preggo story I've heard...maybe EVER! xo

Lisa Boland said...

I've heard this story ....ahhhhh lets say 3 times but every time it gets funnier and funnier I love it!
I was trying to tell Adam, but you know my stories... never as funny,in fact I think you make fun of that...no actually I know you do!!lol so glad he can now read it himself!!
Love reading your blog
check out mine today!!!
http://asildesigns.blogspot.com
GOOD CONTEST!!!
Love you much
xo